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Surviving the worst of the storm out on the high seas in a row-boat.

He lay there, a rope tightly wrapped around his arm, tied at the other end to the boat itself, hoping with all his might that he could somehow fix what he’d done.

He steered himself into a storm, the genius that he was, in a small, flimsy row-boat, out on the high seas. The storm was quick and furious, and he deserved what he got.

Lashing rain, high winds, giant waves and bonecrushing impacts. All of it he deserved. And he accepted all of it with humility and a feeling of great sorrow, with a little touch of stupidity on his mind. Who told him to row out to sea in a tiny boat? Into a storm no less?

But now the worst of the storm had passed, and he lay there, breathing in the sea air. He let it fill his lungs as he tried to rest a little.

But all he could do was cry. It was his fault. She shouldn’t have had to face all she did, for it was no fault of hers. It was his. All his. He cried his eyes out, asking what he could do to fix what he had broken. He asked himself why, why he had done something so stupid, so childish, so idiotic, and why she should still let him go free. He felt like he should have been tied to a pole and whipped. But he somehow felt this was worse. His own mistakes had their own consequences, and he would bear them. He would suffer for what he had done.

He simply lay there and cried. Even when the crying on the outside had stopped, it went on inside. He knew he’d cry for a long time, and though he knew she might someday forgive him, he’d never forgive himself.

It was his fault, and she paid the price. He’d have to tread carefully, lest he repeat the mistakes and cause her or someone else to take the fall instead of him. It wouldn’t happen again, not if he could help it.

He lay there, a rope tightly wrapped around his arm, tied at the other end to the boat itself, hoping with all his might that he could somehow fix what he’d done.

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4 thoughts on “Surviving the worst of the storm out on the high seas in a row-boat.

  1. Thank you.. Shame is the core emotion here.. but recovery is inching onward.. happier things will follow soon.

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