Some time ago, I had the bright idea that I might be able to create my own pair of shoes out of old shoe soles and some painted canvas.
‘How hard could it be?’
It’s the one question you must NEVER follow up on after you’ve asked yourself, BELIEVE ME.
I did, and here’s the result. A short story in images about how I tried to become a cobbler with no research, experience or chance in hell of succeeding.
After I realised just how bad I’d done trying to make this pair of disasters, I stopped and took a couple of photos that should teach you two lessons.
One : Do your research.
Two : Chuck research into a bin and go ask a cobbler to make you a pair of wearable shoes with the canvas you give him.
A. They’re about as identical as a badger and Pluto (the planet, not the cartoon dog)
B. I used staples instead of a needle and thread or glue, so there’s a danger of needing a Tetanus shot if you wear these shoes and try to do more than a slow shuffle.
C. Neither fits my own feet and I’ve used the soles from shoes I used to wear.
D. They look so ugly that even a clown who’s down on his luck would rather wear his torn-up clown shoes and do a tap routine than be seen wearing these even if they were the last new shoes on the planet.
I urge you to laugh at my attempt at being a cobbler, because I definitely am, and probably will still be laughing when I wake up as an old man.
I hope I’ve brightened your day with the knowledge that there is someone who’s done something stupider than you today.